Woolworths - alive and kicking

This is not the Woolies that I remember!

What if.................

What if the Hokey Cokey is really what it's all about?

Surprise, surprise

The surprises are coming thick and fast today.

DFS have got a sale on and Tom Daley is gay.

A fun day

That was an interesting day. Jan and I don't really have an anniversary so she we celebrate the day she was lucky enough to first set eyes on me.
That was seventeen years ago yesterday, so as a treat we went to eat at The Star Inn in Harome. And jolly good it was too.
On the drive over I happened to mention that I fancied eating game for a change and, as befits a thatched restaurant cottage in deepest Yorkshire, that's what I had. My risotto starter with locally shot pheasant was absolutely delightful, not cheap, though they offer a set three course meal for £25, the meal was excellent, beautifully cooked and served. They also offer wines by the glass at lunch time which is useful.
This is a top end restaurant and aims to please. Recommended.
Then, it was on to York to see a comedian at the Barbican but not before driving past Castle Howard and Lidl. Lidl because they are selling whole cooked lobster for £5.99 each and we wanted some for New Year.
With a couple of hours to spare we headed into York town centre and headed straight to M&S, where else? And now comes the most surprising part of the day.
Just outside M&S is a Halifax Bank and it was there that I queued behind three ladies as one of them drew money from the ATM. My turn came but before I could put my card in it spewed a receipt obviously intended for one of the ladies. I looked around but they had disappeared. Being the nosey type I looked at the receipt and what it showed made me shout 'bloody hell.' The lady had drawn out £100 but the account balance showed £49,370.38.

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

Would the extremely attractive lady who withdrew cash from the Halifax Bank at 16.52 in central York on Friday 22nd November please contact me because I have the receipt that she forgot to pick up. Yours lovingly, an ardent fan and admirer. Alex.

Funny

Two prawns

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean , two prawns were swimming around in the sea.

One was called Justin and the other called Christian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Christian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.'

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted'

Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.

Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely.

All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.

Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.

He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.

Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal.

'Where's Christian?' he asked.

'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides  and became a shark', came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode.

As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back.

He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.'

Christian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.'

Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.'.......

 'I've found Cod.   And now I'm a Prawn again Christian.'

A bit more culcha

Sitting on my arse for three hours watching anything fills me with dread. I get a sore bum sitting on a plane for two hours so this was something that I was not looking forward to.
The RSC production of Richard 11 (as in Shakespeare) was showing at the Curzon and Jan, who studied it for an A Level, wanted to go. Me, trying pretending not to be a philistine, agreed.
The doors opened at 18.40, the play started at 19.15, presumably to let all the white haired folk get home in time for their Horlicks, and finished at 22.15. What I hadn't realised was that it was a live performance from Stratford whereas I thought that it was a film of a performance.
OK, down to the nitty gritty. After a straight 1.5 hours in the packed 57 seater auditorium (with little wriggle room) my bum was starting to really hurt which was very distracting. David Tennant, who I don't think is a very good actor, played a very camp King Richard and had me giggling at times, but I was the only one, and admittedly he did get better as time went on. All in all I don't think it is a 'strong' play and unless you have studied it then the dialogue is somewhat incomprehensible though you do get the gist of what's happening. I realise that I could be showing my ignorance or maybe just describing 'the kings new clothes'. Your mileage may vary.
I have always thought that clapping in a theatre was about the audience telling the cast how much they enjoyed it. When a slightly very smug chap started to clap enthusiastically at the interminable bowing at the end I felt that maybe he was just a bit too enthusiastic whilst sitting in a theatre 200 miles away.

Post early for Christmas

Crafts for Christmas

I must admit I wasn't looking forward to it. Crafts for Christmas was booked by Jan some time ago and I expected it to be a couple of hours of looking at stuff that would appeal to the knit your own yogurt brigade.
We managed to park close to the entrance which is always a bonus at The Yorkshire Showground and it was only a short walk to the exhibition hall, so that was an immediate and welcome bonus. What in fact it was, was a huge indoor Christmas market with all sorts of stuff for sale. Some expensive but the majority not and an excellent place to pick up ideas. Not at all what I expected.
Then, as it was lunchtime, we popped into Fodder, right next door, to see if we could get a bite to eat. As well as their usual choice, they offered the most enormous Sunday lunch with a choice of beef, pork or lamb and a huge Yorkshire pud and veg. Excellent value, we'll be back.

Curzon Ripon

33 Years after the last one shut down they have just opened a new cinema in Ripon, part of the London based Curzon group and, I believe, their first cinema outside of London. How strange is that? Of all the places they could chose they chose Ripon. There is obviously something special about North Yorkshire and the (upmarket) clientele in Ripon. Like me you will also have noticed that they waited until we moved here.
It's what they call an arthouse cinema with serious theatre shows as well as mainstream films. This afternoon, I chose the afternoon because Jan was more likely to stay awake, we joined a lot of white haired old folk and went to see Philomena. As it happens the place was packed, which hardly surprising at only £6 a ticket. We also picked up tickets to see the RSC production of Richard 2 later this month. Philomena is a powerful and sometimes funny film and has been well reviewed. It didn't disappoint in the slightest. Recommended.
Jan, who was never allowed to visit the cinema on Saturday mornings as a child because 'it was only for rough kids' (which includes me), was especially pleased to see that they have a kids club at the weekends. Bless.