Saturday, April 28, 2012

To feed or not to feed

I'm a centre right voter and Jan is centre left (verging on a pinko commie bastard voter). This is all at odds with how we feed the birds.
Let me explain.
We were discussing the need to feed the birds during summer months. We give them seeds, peanuts and fat balls. Birds just do not go hungry around here.
They get a veritable feast of bird type food and they get through a huge amount of the stuff. I have to refill the seed box everyday.
I said yes, we should carry on feeding them throughout the summer and Jan said no. I feel we should do all we can to help the poor unfortunate things and basically she doesn't think they should be fed in summer months and objects to the little darlings living off free handouts and also feels that they should work harder for their food.
I vote right but behave left whilst Jan votes left but behaves right.
All very confusing but in the meantime the birds are getting fatter and await the outcome of our deliberations with clenched beaks (or until you are told what to do -Ed).

Friday, April 27, 2012

Georgie Fame

You'd think that anyone wearing red trousers would shrink into a corner but when you meet your hero Georgie Fame, also wearing red trousers, smoking a quick fag outside Ronnie Scotts, then you have to have your picture taking with him.
GF, who rarely does photos, agreed and my mate AJ (on the right, just in case) got his picture taken with the man.
Which reminds me that when I were a lad, and in a band, we played an all nighter at Pete Stringfellow's club, the King Mojo in Sheffield, we played with Georgie Fame and the Blue Flames.
What goes around etc.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Barcelona (2)

A few photos of our recent trip to Barça. Courtesy of proud grandparents.

 The place is so popular even a wedding party turned up.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A special birthday

Hola from Barcelona.
Jan's eldest, Ben, has just turned 40 so this was a little trip to help him celebrate, and has nothing to do with the fact that we really enjoy this town.
The town was really busy because we couldn't find a hotel so for the first time ever we stayed in an apartment. We used and they gave us a neat one bed, fully equipt place, a mere fifteen minute walk from the family.
Leaving the cold and rain in Leeds we arrived to torrential rain in Barcelona but this soon disappeared by the time we got down-town and it stayed warm and sunny for the rest of the stay.
Anyway, how did we spend the first hour of our first whole day? Jan disappeared head-first into Sephora.
I of course used the time wisely to learn the Spanish for the various parts of a woman's face which, by the time we'd left, I'd forgotten. Still, because she took pity on me, it wasn't all like that and we spent some time buying presents for the little ones.
The following day we ate lunch on the beach in an excellent restaurant called Arenal, apart from the fact that they make an excellent arroz negro, being right next to the sand means that the little ones were entertained when they'd finished eating.

Monday, April 23, 2012

I apologise in advance

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a Dane, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Slovak, an Australian, an Egyptian, a New Zealander, a Japanese, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Uzbek, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Israeli, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Liechtensteiner, a Moldovan, a Syrian, an Aruban, a Mongolian, a Portuguese, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Cook Islander, a Norfolk Islander, a Haitian, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Tajikistani, an Armenian, an Albanian, a Samoan, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Belarusian, a Qatari, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Cuban, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Serb,
a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and two Africans walk into a fine restaurant.

"I'm sorry," says the maître d', "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Feeling perky

For medical reasons that I don't quite understand, nor wish to bore you with, I'm having a course of vitamin B12 injections.
Today was injection number four and the nurse asked how I was feeling.
'OK', I said, 'should I be feeling any different?'
'I've heard', she said, 'that Madonna's dancers, before they go on tour, have vitamin B12 injections and some people have said it makes them feel much more 'energetic'.'
I mentioned this to Jan when I got home and she said, 'I've not noticed any difference, you still seem bone idle to me.'

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

One for football fans

For those of you who follow football (that's soccer for our American friends) this caught my eye and made me laugh.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Something for the weekend

Angela Merkel arrives at passport control at Athens Airport.

"Nationality?" asks the Immigration officer.

"German," she replies.

"Occupation?" he asks.

"No, just visiting for a few days."

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

MS Balmoral 2

The real truth behind the ship turning round is that the captain got the shits when he realised that part of the re-enactment meant he actually had to hit an iceberg.

Monday, April 9, 2012

MS Balmoral

Is it me or does anyone else think that this is a ghoulish trip? I'm not sure what there is to celebrate. Over 1500 people died. I find it all very strange.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Simply the best

One of the principle reasons we moved back to England was to be near my mother who is 'getting on a bit' and is at the time of her life where things are more likely to go wrong (James and Cara please take note).
I'm an only child so if mum needs help then it's pretty much down to me and of course Jan. Actually that should be the other way round because I find myself unable to stay calm when mum says and does stupid things. Jan is sweetness personified which is why my mum really likes her. She knows how to listen and say all the right things and she knows that food is, and always has been, a very important part of mum's life.
Anyway, the other day mum sort of fell and had to take to her bed. So for the last few days we have been scuttling back and forward to Harrogate lending both moral and physical support and liaising with doctors and health professionals.
So far so good and also very good practice for when I need to be doing the same for Jan, the major difference being that my mum gets freshly prepared nutritious food and Jan will have to survive on Morrisons ready meals.
Please note, Morrisons have built a huge new kitchen at their base in Bradford and if you can't get a good curry from Bradford you will never get one. Their chicken jalfrezi is excellent, the best I have ever tasted. Put some in your mouth and close your eyes, you can even feel the flock wallpaper.