A bit of fun

Sorry

So you sit here thinking you know everything and then realise you don't. I was reading Boris recently and noticed that 'word verification' had been turned off. I hate those bloody things with a passion and had no idea whether this blog might have one. So I checked and blow me down it did.
I'm so, so sorry. They're such a pain in the arse and frankly a great disincentive to making a comment. I can't tell you the number of times that I've given up in disgust in other places because I couldn't read the damn things.
Anyway, being curious I searched and I've found where the settings are hidden and turned it off.
Thank you Craig for pointing me in the right direction. This then makes me wonder if there's anything else irritating about it? Apart from me that is.

Do you understand?

Did anyone watch Question Time last week? I'm an old git with too much time on my hands and I have become more interested in politics and as a result watch the programme.
What a fiasco and what a deeply poor debate it was. There was only one panel member who acquitted himself with honour and who produced balanced arguments and that was Fraser Nelson the editor of The Spectator. At the other end of the scale George Galloway just spouted hateful vitriol. What a poor choice.
The audience weren't much better. One would expect that in any group of people one would find a certain number of morons but this audience had more than its fair share.
David Dimbleby wasn't very good in the chair and should maybe start to consider if he's up to it. People talking over each other and some just spouting political propaganda. Not a very interesting or satisfying programme. Come on BBC sort it out.
Talking of morons did you see that a judge had to dismiss a jury recently because they asked him unbelievably stupid questions and failed to understand their brief?
Hmmm, there's a bit of a trend here.

Not dusky then

I was in Booths the other day looking to buy some scallops. Peter, who served me, said that they were about to get more expensive because they were switching to 'hand dived' scallops.
Now you could forgive me for being a little cynical because it seemed to me to be a bit preposterous. I was thinking of dusky maidens in flimsy sarongs diving in the warm clear waters of some foreign sea. Not an unpleasant thought but somehow not real.
Anyway, this thought has been bugging me for some time and today I mentioned it to someone else as I was buying mussels.
'Was it really true that someone hand dived for scallops,' I said.
'Sure,' he said, 'they come from Scotland and we get them from this company, here take this leaflet.'
So there you have it, forget dusky maidens, someone in the chilly depths of Scottish waters is rooting around the sea bed for your scallops. Oh ye of little faith.

Just amazing

Just watch!

Is it just me?

I know some folks have died recently and I'm not trying to sound insensitive but this has been bugging me for ages. Do the folks who get 'rescued' when out walking in less than benign conditions get charged for the time and cost of the good folks who rescue them? It seems to me to be wholly reasonable that if you walk in the highlands, or climb a mountain, in the middle of winter then you must take your share of the responsibility if you get lost or get into trouble.
I'm an armchair softy and don't know much about walking in the wilds but common sense dictates that if you do then you increase the risk to yourself and should share the cost if you get into trouble.
It never fails to amaze me at the number of people who die or get into trouble, risking not only their lives but also those who are good enough and brave enough to sort out their problems. Helicopters are not cheap and why should they be funded by the general public when a certain amount of common sense could avoid their involvement.
If it became 'generally know' that there was a significant potential cost involved it might make people consider their options carefully.
Sign my petition (when I get round to writing one and can figure out where to post it).

image: www.freeimages.co.uk

Do they deep fry them (again)?

There are many stories about the poor eating habits of the Scots. This one made me laugh.

I need help.......

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.


"Not a chance," says the husband, "it's 3:00 in the morning!"


He slams the door and returns to bed.


"Who was that?" asked his wife..

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.


"No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's bloody well pouring with rain out there!"


"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?


I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! "God loves drunk people too you know."


The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.


He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"


"Yes," comes back the answer.


"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.


"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..

Some things never change.

Remember this post? Well this is the latest one.

Carnival

A phone call to Barcelona at the weekend reminded me. Ben and family were in full carnival mood with all the family dressing up in costumes and partying in the streets.
There's a huge colourful carnival in Rio and carnival all over the Christian world but what do we get? Death in Paradise, horse-meat and bloody pancakes.
Still, it could have been worse, they haven't started testing chicken and pork yet.

Twitter et al

Everyday I get emails from Twitter and Facebook telling me that there are lots of people who I should read (Twitter), or be friends with (Facebook). Are these companies even more stupid than I think they are? Why do they do this and on such a regular basis?
Take this morning's email from Twitter. They tell me that Jamie Oliver and Steven Fry are 'trending.' Yippee, they're 'trending.' Without this information my day would have been so much bleaker. I'd have sat in a corner, rocking on my haunches and sucking my fist, had I not known that they are 'trending.'
Not satisfied with this useless piece of information Twitter then tells me that Kale Faulkner, Natasha Hughes, Shauna Sever and, wait for it, PepperPeanut, are writing some shit that I'd be interested in.
I have absolutely no idea who these people are and, more to the point, I don't want to know and don't care. They tell me that I shouldn't miss out, "stay up to date on what's happening."
I'm a sentient human being with just about enough intelligence to turn the computer on each morning and figure stuff out for myself without some illiterate, moronic, self interested company telling me what I should do or think.
This man explains how I feel about Twitter.

Lie detector

Having read Going Gently yesterday he posted a short video which I thought was very funny. You might find it funny as well.

Reminiscing

When I were a lad, admittedly quite some time ago, the decision making process when buying light bulbs was very straightforward. Your choice was a bayonet fitting and either 60 watt or 100 watt (unless you were dead posh and had mood lighting) and 150 watt if you were looking to heat the house as well.
Has anyone bought a lamp recently? Have you seen the array of fittings, different type of light bulbs and different ways of describing how powerful they are? What a mess.
I was looking for a floor standing reading lamp, essentially to help with the weekend papers. I started the search on Amazon and it didn't take long for me to get very confused (no change there then). Lamps start at £25 and go up to hundreds of pounds. Why anyone would spend hundreds when a cheaper one would do the same job beggars belief. Then, the description of the type of light bulb and the strength of the light are so confusing that I gave up. I thought it might be easier if I looked at the light bulbs in a shop.
No chance and very little by way of explanation. Rant over.