I have read extensively about this topic and I’m slowly coming round to the opinion that it's a huge conspiracy. My theory goes like this.
Under direct orders from President Sarkozy, (seen waving goodbye to DSK above), knowing that Elvis had a penchant for this sort of thing, had him tracked down and coerced into joining the French secret service.
What I believe is that Elvis, riding his favourite bull, crept into the back entrance of the Sofitel and, without being noticed, secretly climbed the stairs to the fourth floor.
On entering DSK’s room and after exchanging autographs he forced DSK to have consensual sex with the housekeeper.
Police, who have thrown a crack team of cleaners into the investigation, are looking for any traces of bullshit in the room which will either confirm or deny DSK’s defence.
When the bullshit is eventually found it will confirm the opinion of all those
living in cloud cuckoo land who believe that this was a political setup.