I knew I was destined for TV. A few months back we went to Fountains Abbey because they were filming The Antiques Roadshow there. Jan had a tea set from the Ming dynasty or whatever and wanted it valued and I fancied seeing what they did and how it was organised. And on top of all that it was only 10 minutes away. Anyway, last night they showed the episode from the abbey and I sat glued to the television, ignoring the stuff they were talking about but continually scanning the crowd looking for any beautiful people. About 45 minutes in, one of the chaps they were talking to rang a bell with me. There was a table and a film crew near us where they had to ask a stupid mother and baby to move away because the child was crying and making a huge fuss and they couldn't hear themselves think. I half remembered the incident and the people involved. This was my moment. 'Look Jan, look,' I said. 'Who's that gorgeous hunk right at the edge of the screen?' In a flash I was gone. Naturally you couldn't see Jan because I now realise that they only show very photogenic people, those that they think can reach stardom.
I decided to be a vegan this morning so I started the day with an apple and a few nuts. It was rather good and I suspect very healthy. Jan served a 'turkey Caesar' for lunch which was a bit more challenging. She told me that I'd have to remove the turkey, parmesan cheese and eggs (from the sauce) in order to remain a vegan. Sod that I thought, I'll start again tomorrow.
We were watching Dynamo on television last night doing the most amazing tricks. If you have never seen him I urge you to look him out. He's amazing. At one point he climbs to the top of Sugar Loaf Mountain to the Christ the Redeemer statue. Just below the statue he levitates about five feet in the air in front of a whole crowd of people. They were all around him and he left with them open mouthed at what they had seen. Anyway, I said to mum, 'did you see that? Isn't that amazing?' She said, 'well he didn't levitate very high, did he?' Jan and I were in stitches. I'm still looking to unlock the code.
It all started when I suggested that we go out for our Christmas lunch. Jan agreed, which rather surprised me* but we booked to eat at the Bruce Arms. I have to admit that this is the first time that we'd ever eaten out at Christmas but I felt that as there would only be three of us and and therefore easier to organise and not too expensive, Jan should have a treat and not have to cook. So far so good. Anyway, as the time approached I thought that Jan was looking a little down. 'What's the matter?' I said. 'It doesn't feel right, 'she said. 'I'm not used to this.' 'So let me get this right,' I said, 'you would rather spend hours sweating over a hot stove, preparing a huge turkey meal and all the bits that go with it?' 'Er, yes,' she said. 'That's what I'm used to to. That's what I feel I should be doing.'* I scratched my head and moved away before I said something inflammatory, cos I'm like that. Still, Hugh (the chef proprietor) offered a scrumptious choice of starters and mains and she seemed to enjoy it. What surprised me though was Jan's choice of main course*. Beef Wellington. Normally, she doesn't enjoy great slabs of meat and believe me this was a huge piece of fillet, which she polished off with gusto. Life for me is still a huge learning curve and I realise that I still have so much to learn. Cracking the code still eludes me. Note the * represents each time I have to reassess my core beliefs. Each time I realise that I'm a long way off cracking the female code.
Jan's son Luke and his girlfriend were visiting so we took them around Ripon to see the sites. Last visit of the afternoon was to the Minster. It was dark and raining outside but you could see the warm welcoming lights of the Minster through the glass doors at the front. We were alone, there were no visitors, so as some went off to explore I sat at the back and admired the Christmas decorations and sat in the warm glow. What made the visit really special was listening to the Ripon Cathedral Choir who were practising for the evening service. We had our own private performance of seasonal music and carols. Excellent.
Having been really disappointed with the tat of the 'christmas market' in Harrogate the other weekend we set off to explore the Dickensian market in Grassington. As there was no parking in Grassington itself, we used the park and ride some four miles away. When you saw the number of cars queuing to get into the car park you could see why they'd organised it. It was quite a good market with many people dressed in period costumes and a reasonable range of stalls. We got there about 10.30 am and by 12.30 we'd had enough but not before I'd scoffed that old Yorkshire standby, a kangaroo burger. As we left, literally hundreds of people were pouring into the village so we left just in time. Then, not being satisfied with one trip over the Pennines, the following day we met friends for lunch near Skipton at the Tempest Arms. What a busy place and the food ain't bad either. I started with Yorkshire puddings and onion gravy and frankly could have stopped after working my way through three huge puddings. This was followed by a smoked duck combo which was also very good. Recommended.
